I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING

It's been a while since I've mentioned Lil Wayne here on FBUS. Mainly cos he went to jail and dropped something horrendous in Rebirth. I literally didn't listen to the whole thing. I couldn't. I respect myself a little bit.

However, I figured there would be a good enough reason to sing dude's praises before Carter IV dropped, and I was right. I Am Not a Human Being is a mini-album in the grand scheme of hip hop albums. It's only ten tracks, many of which the public had heard before the shit dropped on September 27 (remember - Wayne's birthday), but I suppose that should be expected. What's an album anyway? Especially in the mainstream spotlight like this one. "Album" at this point, in a corporate sense, just means you can buy it on iTunes for a little bit less than if you bought the songs individually. In this case, the individual songs cost $1.29 and the album costs $11.99, so that's like saving $1.00. Great.

HOWEVER, continue reading this article and I'll show you a way to shave the price down even further cos even though there's only ten tracks, there's a few you certainly don't need. The other Wayne songs on your iTunes will actually get sick knowing you purposefully spent money on the useless few (assuming you didn't already poison your MP3s by purchasing anything from Rebirth).



1. "Gonorrhea" feat. Drake

This is probably one song you don't need to buy cos, well, it leaked before the album dropped anyway. For one, Lil Wayne HQ posted it up a week before the album dropped. For two, it's really not that great of a song. Pitchfork's review of I Am Not a Human Being claims that this is one of "the finest three songs" on the album, which is simply not true. Who cares that Drake is on it? He doesn't do much to save the boring beat and a generally bored Wayne. Also, the whole point of the song is that if you're not with Young Money you're a pussy that has a nasty STD and frankly I don't appreciate people assuming I'm filthy just cos I'm not with YMCM or whatever.

2. "Hold Up" feat. T-Streets

Don't buy this one either. No idea who T-Streets is or why he has anything to do with this album, but according to his bio he abandoned his interest in sports at the age of 12 to pursue a rap career simply because he met Wayne. I dunno, dude should've tried his hand at hoops or baseball or fucking curling or ANYTHING but rapping. I'm not saying he ruins the song, but he doesn't make it any better, that's for sure.

3. "With You" feat. Drake

Finally, something to talk about that doesn't completely blow it. "With You" is the highlight of this album (or maybe the following song), seeing Wayne get all sexy talkin about pleasing beautiful women. This might be my favorite Weezy, the one who left his gun and his weed at his crib, opting instead for "moonlight and candles and shit." The StreetRunner beat is all slow and tinkly, the whole thing wrapped around a simple but soothing vocal bit. Then you get to the chorus and Drake pretty much redefines the "and we gon' be alright if we put Drake on every hook" sentiment. Also, this:

"she get mad when I call other women hos
you send her rose I'll pick some flowers and send her those
tall glass of Merlot get her in the mode
two tall glasses of Merlot get her out her robe
I whisper in her ear and lick around her lobe
and when she check her watch it's never time to go."

4. "I Am Not a Human Being"

Then this track arrives next, pretty much the exact opposite of "With You" from the opening nu-metal guitar riff. And if that wasn't enough to convince, Wayne gets diabolical right away like Bruno from Strangers on a Train, intimating that he's about to "pop all the balloons and spit in the punch." The verses' content is sort of weak but the song's generally fun and heavy, lots of insults and murder-boasts like "if you think you're hot then obviously you been lied to" and "shoot you in your head and leave your dash full of memories."




5. "I'm Single"

I think this was the first full I Am Not a Human Being track I heard, in the form of the official video. That was some six months ago, and the video's still pretty ridiculous. Shots of one well-endowed (back-wise) woman on the beach, seeming to run through Wayne's mind, while his main chick desperately awaits his arrival back home. Eventually she figures out he's not coming back (probably cos, well, he's Lil Wayne) so she stabs the cake she made him and we leave her in regret with eyeliner running. If only she could have seen how many cellphones Wayne has in the studio a.k.a. certainly enough to never let on that there's another lady waiting for him elsewhere.




6. "What's Wrong With Them" feat. Nicki Minaj

On the surface this seems like stupid mid-tempo radio fodder. Maybe it is, but honestly Nicki is the only one on this 'album' that I could imagine actually appearing on Carter IV (aside from Drake, of course). I'm okay with her chorus melting into my inner ear. She's been that interesting new breed of female rapper or whatever for a while, doing the whole face twitch robot barbie thing. But there's a ton of her verses I still can't get down with. However, when she's thrown on a syrupy hook I usually dig, and that's exactly what happens here (though I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about). Wayne also has some alright one-liners, including a Celtics reference:

"we get high til it feel like the sky low"
"that's that nine, nigga - eugh, Rondo"
"sleepin' with the enemy, so I fuck the world"
"the world is on my shoulders - should I dust my shoulders off?"
"man, I'm fly as fuck you ain't even next to depart"

7. "Right Above It" feat. Drake

This is another one that's been around a while. Shit's huge, Drake's verse is actually good and I'm so down when these two just talk about how awesome they are and how you're probably a loser. Drake does the thing where he teeters on being introspective ("fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me") when I wish he'd just get more arrogant ("I got a couple cars I never get to use, don't like my women single - I like my chicks in twos"). But then Weezy saves it with the chorus where he claims that "you know you at the top when only heaven's right above it" which I wouldn't know anything about but apparently he got so high he saw angels or something. There's also a couple Weezy lines in his first verse that blow my mind:


"guns turn you boys into pussies - sex change"
(and directly after that but in a separate breath...)
"and I smoke til I got chest pains"




8. "Popular" feat. Lil Twist

Let me preface this song by saying it's not that good. Aside from it being a pretty stupid basis for a song (if you fuck Lil Twist you will be popular), Wayne just kinda recycles parts of his verse from "Bed Rock" for the little bridge part. This is weird to me. Seems like an insult to Twist. Wasn't worth thinking up a few new words to say before his chorus? Guess not. Guess it's cos a Young Money groupie might settle for Twist if they can't get into Wayne's hotel room, given they're young enough. How old is that dude anyway? 17? 19? (EDIT: He's 17.) I dunno, I guess the chorus might be worth half the cost of a normal MP3. I promise dude won't appear on Carter IV. Don't buy this one unless they're having an at least 50% off MP3 liquidation sale, "EVERYTHING-MUST-GO" style.

9. "That Ain't Me" feat. Jay Sean

Who the fuck is Jay Sean? Don't listen to/buy this song. Er, well, there's one good part...

"and I don't go to church because the line long"

^ BEST excuse for not attending church, ever.

10. "Bill Gates"

First thing's first - this song is called "Bill Gates." Wayne says he "got a sign on my dick that say 'bad bitches only.'" Do you think Bill Gates has a SIGN on his DICK that reads "bad bitches only" ? Yeah, me neither. Do yourself a favor and forget this one too.

I'm sure the tracks I approved will tide you over til Carter IV. Until then, #FREEWEEZY.



(image via Google Search)